As parents, we may not always realize how deeply our children are affected by the events they’ve experienced. Often, we focus on our own healing, hoping our children are resilient enough to weather the storm. But beneath their silence, they may be carrying unspoken fears, grief, and confusion. When disaster strikes, emotions run deep—grief, fear, uncertainty, and an overwhelming sense of displacement can take hold, especially in young hearts.
I write this not only as a conscious parenting mentor but as someone who has personally walked through the fire—twice. The first time, I was just four years old, watching our home as it burned down. The second time was as an adult, when a wildfire in 2017 reduced my home to ashes. Let’s talk about the children . . . their unspoken fears, their hidden grief, and the ways we, as parents, can guide them toward healing, resilience, and hope.
The Trauma of Displacement
One of the most profound challenges children face after a disaster is the feeling of displacement. Losing their home, their routine, and the sense of safety they once knew can be deeply unsettling. For a child, home is more than just a place, it’s a foundation of comfort, security, and belonging. When that foundation is suddenly taken away, they may experience fear, confusion, and even a loss of identity.
When I was four years old, my family’s house burned down. I remember our family spending one night in a hotel before my parents began searching for a new home. In the chaos that followed, they made the difficult decision to send all of us children to stay with different caregivers so they could focus on rebuilding our lives. I was placed with a family who were strangers to me, though my father knew them.
At that young age, I couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening — I only knew that everything familiar was suddenly gone. The home where I felt safe had turned to ashes, and now I was separated from my family, living in an unfamiliar place with people I didn’t know. The weight of that experience stayed with me. Even though I was too young to articulate my emotions, I felt the deep loss, confusion, and fear that often comes with displacement after a disaster.
Looking back, I understand that my parents were doing the best they could under overwhelming circumstances. But I also recognize how important it is to acknowledge the emotional toll such events take on children. They may not have the words to express their grief, but they feel the impact just as deeply. As parents, our role is to provide comfort, stability, and reassurance—to help them feel safe even when the world around them feels uncertain. Seek professional guidance in helping your child navigate the aftermath of a disaster.
The Loss of a Family Home: More Than Just a House
The loss of a family home is more than just the destruction of a physical structure, it’s the loss of a place filled with memories, comfort, and a deep sense of belonging. When our home was destroyed by wildfire, my former husband and I weren’t the only ones who grieved. My adult children, though they no longer lived there, also experienced a profound sense of loss. The home where they grew up, where holidays were celebrated, and where they always knew they could return, was suddenly gone.
For them, it wasn’t just a house that burned; it was the irreplaceable connection to their childhood, the tangible reminders of their past, and the sense of home they had always carried with them. They couldn’t go back to the familiar walls that had once held their laughter and love. That loss was real, and it was painful.
Grief over losing a home is deeply personal yet often overlooked. Whether a child is young or grown, the emotional impact of losing that anchor can be profound. As parents, acknowledging their grief and giving them space to process their emotions is just as important as tending to our own healing.
Disasters, whether fire, flood, or wind take more than physical possessions; they take a sense of safety, stability, and familiarity. As parents, it’s our job to help our children navigate these losses with understanding and compassion. We can’t undo what has happened, but we can walk beside them in their grief, hold space for their emotions, and remind them that home is not just a place, it is the love we share, the memories we hold, and the strength we build together.
Angela Legh is an International Freelance Author, an International Bestselling Author, and Motivational Speaker. She is passionate about promoting emotional intelligence with her book series The Bella Santini Chronicles.